Dr. Y solves all your problems.

I've posted about it before, and I'll say it again: I love, love love Owen's pediatrician, Dr. Y. I also consider the good doctor to be the final word bar none on any baby health and wellness related issue. Sometimes, I'll admit it, I make appointments with Dr. Y just to talk about my baby. Oh, I give him a snuffle and a cough just to get it by the sniff test of the triage nurses on the phone, but Dr. Y usually knows as well as I do why I'm there. And he never minds indulging me, so after he's cleared Owen of his imaginary ear infection he says, "so what's going on with Owen?"

What is going on with Owen is that he doesn't sleep. He will not sleep through the night in his crib. I've posted about this extensively and I'm sure everyone is sick of hearing about it, but it is significantly negatively impacting our quality of life. I don't mind working, keeping up with a toddler and generally trying to keep my arms around life, but I do mind doing it when I can count the number of times on one hand in the last 19 1/2 months that I've slept through the night. Some nights are ok (one major wakeup), some nights are horrible (three or more). On balance, I'd say we're weighted toward the horrible.

So this is how I ended up in Dr. Y's office blubbering about Owen's sleep problems today. (Definitely not the first time I've blubbered in there. There was the infamous "my baby nurses every 40 minutes and I think I'm going to die" episode at 3 months. yikes.) And Dr. Y looked very seriously at Owen and said, "Owen, my beautiful boy, why you are not sleeping?" and then he asked me, "when he wakes up, what does he want? To eat? To drink?" I said, "no, he wants to be cuddled. He wants to come into bed with me." And this is true. Most of the time, I fight with Owen (unsuccessfully) to stay in his own crib for a couple hours before I eventually give up and let him come into bed with me, after which he is usually quiet until the morning. Not necessarily not bothering me, but quiet. (and yes, we've tried the hard line approach of just not. letting. him. in. bed. It doesn't work. He cries till morning on and off, and we get zero sleep for weeks until we give in and let him back in bed again). I told Dr. Y all this and more. It's been a long battle with the sleep.

Dr. Y said, "Jenny, I love this country, but there is one thing I do not understand. Why do Americans think their babies should sleep away from mama and daddy? Of course he wants to come sleep with you. You have a smart baby. He knows it is nicer to sleep with Mama. In my country we sleep with babies and we are not a country of psychopaths."

"well, ok, Dr. Y". I said. "It's not so much that I have an aversion to cosleeping. We've been doing it more or less since Owen was born, after all. And if everyone was happily sleeping, we'd keep doing it. the problem, though, is that after we bring him into bed, HE'S happy. But we are still up because he flops around like a flounder on the dock, kicks, squirms, wakes up every couple hours to find a better way to position himself and generally takes up approximately 3/4 of our queen size bed by 5am. So Andy and I are hugging the edges of the bed for dear life while he's snoring spread eagle in the middle. We really, really, REALLY need a way for everyone to get sleep, not just Owen."

Dr Y seemed, finally, to understand what I was saying. "Ah!" he said. "I got it. I know what you need to do."

Finally! I thought to myself. This is what I've been waiting for! I should have come and cried to Dr. Y sooner. He ALWAYS knows what to do.

"Jenny," Dr Y said, "what you need is a bigger bed."