false alarm.

Today was just awful. I went to TJMaxx this morning to pick up a spare set of sheets for Owen's bed - having only one set of sheets for a toddler, as we found out at 3am two nights ago, is a poor idea indeed. While I was in the store, I started having contractions, stronger than the ones I've been having all week and slightly closer together. Pleased, I went home and waited a couple hours. The contractions got a little closer together - about 8 minutes apart - and a little stronger, and I started to be pretty uncomfortable. finally! I was sure, being due tomorrow and everything, that I'd be at Newton-Wellesley right now, not sitting on my couch putting up a blog post.

But guess where I am. Yes, sitting on my couch, putting up a blog post.

I had an appointment with the midwife today at 2:30 anyway, so I called the office around noon, told them what was happening, and asked if I should still come in or wait at home for things to pick up. (at this point, I was completely convinced I was actually in labor, to the point where I had called Andy to come home from work, called our doula, and activated the Owen-backup plan). They said come in provided the contraction activity didn't ramp up to the point where I needed to go to the hospital. So in I went, and they put me on the monitor to see what was going on. Things looked promising at first: 'ooh' said the nurse. "Nice contractions right there, you see? looks good." Then the midwife came in and did her exam.

Results: Nada. Zip. Zero progress. Mind you, at this point I had been contracting not only for almost 6 hours, but on and off periodically for the past WEEK. And I am dilated to a....zero. I'm not even at a stage of readiness where I can safely be induced. I could hardly believe it, and the midwife didn't have much comforting to say besides that this sort of thing just happens. The contractions are real, they're just not nescessarily productive. She confirmed my web md self diagnosis of prodromal labor and said not to feel bad, because it can be really hard to tell the difference between prodromal labor and the real thing, but it was a little late to not feel bad. So, with Andy and Owen home in the middle of the day and all systems go for baby having, we...didn't. have a baby, that is.

What we did do was sit around for the rest of the afternoon while I continued to have contractions and cried my eyes out, because the likelihood of me having a baby this weekend now looks pretty low. Or next week, for that matter. They did offer me a c-section, first on Wednesday, and then later in the afternoon the midwife called and said there was an opening on Monday, if I wanted it. I turned it down, because the whole point of this dag pregnancy was to avoid another c-section, but now I'm starting to wonder if I did the right thing. My time off from work is ticking away, and due to the activation of my short term disability already I can't really go back to work on Monday and be all "just kidding! gonna keep working after all. disregard that letter my doctor faxed you last week saying I couldn't anymore." As far as my company is concerned, medical leave is medical leave - they don't care whether the baby has come or not, and I only get so much. Every day I'm out with no baby is a day I can't be with baby.

Basically, we're still waiting. They told me at the appointment today that February 3 is the latest date they're willing to wait - if I'm still pregnant at that point (10 days past my due date) they'll induce if that's possible at that time or do a c-section if it's still not. I don't know what's more depressing: having a c-section two weeks from now when I could have just had one Monday and been done with it, or the thought of still being pregnant in FEBRUARY.

sigh. yep, today was not the greatest of days. and the worst part is, I'm still having the dammned contractions every 15 minutes or so.

maybe tomorrow will be better.