For Elias, on the Occasion of Your Second Birthday

Dear Elias, On Friday you are two! and I still can't believe it. In my head, you still look like this:

I don't remember your entry into the world as clearly as I remember your brother's. There was a lot of confusion, a lot of commotion. I do remember them wheeling me up to the special care nursery in the hospital bed, and I remember seeing you in the incubator.

I remember being out of my mind with worry on the way up to the nursery, until I spotted your gigantic, 9 1/2 pound self up there in special care with all the teeny tiny preemie babies and suddenly feeling better. Just look at you - I remember your dad and I laughing at how incongruous you seemed in that sea of tiny babies. I remember them bringing you down to me later in my room and saying you were going to be fine, and thinking "I already knew that". Besides that, it's a blur, but I can tell you your dad and I were so glad to finally meet you. you were an exceedingly laid back baby, which is hilarious because your pugnacious, extremely spirited 2 year old self has nothing in common with that baby. You used to just hang out and watch the world go by. At the time, I thought it was because you were just a mellow little spirit. Now I think you were just carefully observing your brother and taking notes on how to be a whirling dervish. Either way, you were chubby, charming, and deliciously cuddly.

This is you on your first birthday. You were adorable, but you weren't too sure about that cake. I'm fuzzy on the specifics, but I'm pretty sure you could walk but couldn't talk at 1, but you definitely already had a sense of humor.

You are a very funny guy, and we all appreciate it. Today, you told one of your best jokes. It goes like this: Eli: "Go seep?" Mom: "you want to go to sleep?" Eli: "yeah." (climbs onto the radiator and pretends to snore) "Eli seep on the radi-aty!" Mom: "no! boys don't sleep on the radiator!" Eli: Hysterical laughter. Hmm. maybe you have to be there. In any case, your brother and I think you're funny. Speaking of brother, I do know that brother was your first word - no wait, it was duck. Brother was your second word. No matter, it's still adorable. You and Owen will likely become mortal enemies at some point in the future, which is why I feel the need to point out that now, you are the best of friends.

I am frequently thankful that both you and your brother are boys, because as such you will likely care less than if you were girls that I have done absolutely no keeping-of-a-baby book for either of you. Many mothers (better mothers than I, I'm sure) carefully document each step, achievement and milestone, but I never got around to it, and now it's too late. So you'll have to accept this blog as good enough, and know that even though I have no idea how old you were when you got your first tooth, took your first step, or said your first word, I still love you immensely. You're the funniest marginally-intelligible guy I know. Much Love, Mom

Speechless

I had a hard time getting out of bed this morning. I didn't feel well when I woke up, and as the day went on I started to feel worse. My face and forehead were aching with sinus pressure, and by noon my eyes were watering and I was practically putting my head down on my desk. I felt like reheated doody by 3:30, so I left my office, and drove home. Normally, I pick the kids up as early as possible, but today I took advantage of the fact that their school is open until 5:15, took some advil cold and sinus, and lay down on my bed for awhile. When it became clear I wasn't going to feel better, I hauled myself up, and looked in the fridge. I had planned to make a chickpea and raisin dish over rice for dinner, but I didn't feel up to cooking, and what's more I wasn't even hungry. Andy's working late tonight, so I only really had to get food in the kids. There wasn't much in the fridge in the quick and easy category, and what there is I need for the kids' lunch tomorrow. So I decided to swing by the grocery store before I picked up the kids and get them something that required minimal cooking for dinner. In the grocery store, I run into another parent I know from the daycare my kids attend. She says hi, I say hi. She makes a joke about running down the daycare clock to get dinner shopping done, and I laugh back at her. Out of the corner of my eye I see a woman in a bright white puffy coat listening to us chat. I don't really think anything of it at the time. I pick a box off the shelf and put it in my basket. A minute later, I'm standing in the tea aisle, looking to see if they have this particular kind of minty tea that I like when I'm sick, with a shopping basket over my arm. In the basket are the two things that I have decided to purchase for the kids for dinner. Internet, I am going to admit to you: those two items were a box of macaroni and cheese and a package of hot dogs. I know! I should be ashamed. At least, the woman in the white coat thought so. She comes and stands next to me, and studies the tea. Then, she looks at me awkwardly, as if to catch my eye. I've never met her, and I work with crazy people for a living, so I'm pretty good at not letting my eye get caught. As I am about to leave the tea section, she says "excuse me", so I turn around. Readers, what I am about to relay to you is 100% true to the best of my recollection, but I was so surprised by it that I can't remember exactly what she said, so I'm paraphrasing. She said "I'm so sorry, and I know I shouldn't say anything, but this is a subject I'm just so....passionate about... and I really think it's so important, for the children (yes! she said, "for the children"!)...I just noticed that you bought those organic hot dogs and macaroni and cheese and I just think it's such a shame, I mean, it's not your fault, you're just a victim of the marketing of the big corporations, but even if you buy the organic kind it's still hot dogs and macaroni and cheese, and it so unhealthy, it's killing our children, you might as well as feed them bleach and lighter fluid. I mean..." Perhaps it was the expression on my face but she trailed off a bit after she said the part about the bleach and the lighter fluid. To say that I was shocked is a bit of an understatement. It's not, actually, that I think she's totally wrong. In fact, I think she's mostly right. I had chosen a box of Annie's whole wheat shells and white cheddar and a package of Applegate farms 'the great organic hotdogs', but yeah. I get it. The difference between what I was buying and kraft dinner and ballpark franks is more or less that the items in my basket were more expensive. I am not under the impression that buying the organic version of processed foods makes them healthy, or that my kids should eat this type of food every day, or anything of the sort. Not that it makes a difference - last I checked, I'm free to feed my kids scrapple and chili fries three meals a day, if I want. I just thought it was funny. First, I totally see the irony of the situation and invite you to join with me in laughing at myself. I can be pretty ridiculous about food myself - I'm the person that buys organic milk for 9.39 a gallon (if my friend Joy reads that, she'll have a stroke) because I'm paranoid about hormones and antibiotics in my kids' food, and in fact I literally live here in Lakeville because Andy has built a career on making commercial food service more natural, local and organic. So to find myself on the receiving end of a lecture about processed foods in the grocery aisle is pretty funny. It's actually hilarious. I also have been guilty of judging other people's food choices - all the time! admit it, you do too. I used to shop at BJs (back in the day, when we had a BJs within reasonable driving distance. sigh). I've seen what people put in their carts. I've looked at an economy sized package of totinos pizza rolls and thought something similar. But I would never, ever, in a million years, even after drinking 5 margaritas and watching 'food inc' on netflix, SAY SOMETHING to another woman, in a store! It also gave me a smidge of insight into why many Americans don't like liberals (or progressives, as we like to call ourselves). Come on, lady. Bleach and lighter fluid? Giving my kids a processed dinner when I'm feeling sick is not a crime. Feeding my kids hot dogs and macaroni and cheese from a box every night? for months and months on end? Sure, we'd have a problem there. It would be a lousy nutritional choice, but even people who make lousy nutritional choices love their children and shouldn't be accused of literally killing them by serving them dinner. I have been accused of being a humorless scold countless times - not just about food, but about lots of things. But today, having experienced an ACTUAL humorless scold, I totally get it. I mean, I'm not going to run out and vote for Santorum or anything, But I get it. It's annoying. By the way, the kids both got green beans in addition to their hot dogs and macaroni, and both ate every bite.

Owen's at Skating lessons. Mom isn't.

I'm super excited this morning that Owen is at his first class of the learn to skate program at the local arena. As my devoted readers will remember, I'm a big skating enthusiast and we had Owen on skates before his second birthday. I'm also, it turns out, a bit of a stage parent when it comes to skating. Every time we take the kids to the rink and I take Owen out on the ice, Andy needs to tell me to calm down. Owen's still not a strong skater (come on! he's nearly 4) which causes me great stress. If he's going to be great he needs to be doing backwards crossovers, like, yesterday.... And this is why Andy is taking him to the learn to skate program, not me. Eli and I are enjoying some low-expectations Thomas the Tank Engine and coffee. And I am waiting eagerly for the report on the lessons. I really want Owen to love ice skating. I joke about making him a great figure or hockey skater, but the truth is I don't really care whether he ever gets any good at anything. Normal, moderately successful and happy are more or less the sum total of my goals for my children. But, I do hope that both of them enjoy ice skating because I enjoy ice skating, and it's something we can share. As a mom of two boys, and not likely to have any girls, I sometimes worry that in a house of 3 men Andy and the kids will have lots to share and enjoy together where as I'll be chief lunch packer, carpool driver and homework helper. I think part of pushing the kids into skating is so that we'll have something we can legitimately enjoy together. And of course, I do realize that I need to not push too hard! That's the best way I know of to get kids to hate whatever you're trying to get them to do and possibly you (Tiger Mother's opinions on the matter are not shared by me). But, I did recently join an adult women's hockey team (ha! yes, I really did. The Salisbury Stingers. I'm joining the season late but I skate with them for the first time tomorrow. We'll see if I can still walk afterward...) and I think it would be really fun if the boys do develop an appreciation for hockey. I feel like it's something our whole family can share. And I can't wait to hear how skating lessons went this morning!

Is this better?

We spent some time today playing around with the arrangement on the furniture. Which living room do you like better? The original layout is in the post prior to this one, so you can check that out to compare. We did a "floating" room within the bigger room on the advice of my friend Kim. I think it's better. what do you think?

We also got rid of the TV from the front of the house and put it in the back bedroom. It makes the front of the big living/dining area look so much better, but we still feel like the dining room table doesn't look right in the front of the house. So we still have the awkward hutch issue, but I think it's less awkward now that the living room is rearranged.

Consider these the "before" pictures

People keep asking me for an update on the house, and so I thought I'd put up a little virtual tour to show you around a little bit. I know I made it sound dumpy in the last post - it's not so bad, really. Actually, despite buying it with plans to fix it up, we really don't HAVE to do much. There are a few things we've known about since the inspection that are must-repairs, and the appliances were all basically shot. We've replaced the washer/dryer and the dishwasher so far, and the fridge and the stove have maybe 2 years left in them, so those are next on the docket (but hopefully can stay in the on-deck circle a little while longer. 3 major appliances in one month were enough, thankyouverymuch.) The major problem with the house is not how much space we have, it's how that space is arranged. So here's what happens when you walk in the front door. what you see right in front of you is the following:

That's the living room. It's fairly good sized, about the size of our old living room. you can see beyond it the entrance to the kitchen. we have a nice fireplace in the center of the room. Right now, our hutch is a bit awkwardly placed besides the couch - it's serving as a bookshelf and keepsake holder at the moment. we'll revisit the dining room issue shortly. Still standing right inside the front door, if you turn to your right, you'll see the space we're currently using as the kids' playroom:

the front of the house is very large picture windows - lovely design element but not terribly energy efficient when it's 20 degrees outside. that explains the large, floor length curtains. So, the playroom space is cute, and I don't mind it. But, the problem is what happens when standing in the doorway you turn to your left:

yeah, I know. Yick. Another large picture window, and this is where we've out of necessity put the desk and an enormous tv, that used to live out of sight in the basement. The problem, of course, is that we don't have a finished basement here, and we don't really have a good spot to put either the computer desk or the TV. the people before us had a plasma TV hung above the fireplace (that's A solution, but a pretty expensive one given the only thing we really use the tv for is kids dvds and for andy to watch sports) and their office area where we have the kids' playroom. they had their dining room table in front of the front picture window. It looked ok when they had it that way, but ours doesn't really fit in. they had a rustic style farm table with long benches....we have a formal mahogany table (matches the hutch) with upholstered seats...it just wouldn't look right right in the front of the house. But, of course, that desk/tv mess doesn't look good either, so it's a work in progress. suggestions welcome. moving on - here's the kitchen.

There are two sections to the kitchen. to take these photos I was standing right in between them. the first photo is of the sink/cabinets (forgive all the dishes, I've been making candy all afternoon). to the right are the stove/fridge. The second photo was taken with me turning 180 degrees. there you can sort of see the original-to-the house glass door built ins and the eat in area. our kitchen table is just a smidge too big for the eat in nook. Enough of a smidge that I think we may need to replace that too, unless we go with one of our plans that involves moving the major appliances to the nook and putting the eat in area at the back of the kitchen. but that's a different post. I didn't really take many pictures of the bedrooms, there are three. I didn't take photos of the master because it's a mess (but I did take a photo of the fireplace in the master, a nice touch) or the kids' room because they're sleeping in it. The guest room is in the back of the house and a total disaster. behold:

Finally, there's the bathroom. the bathroom, I like, actually. everything in the bathroom is fine with me except for the floor.

Yikes. what IS that? who would ever pick that for a floor? It's clearly original to the house. andy and I need to troll home improvement websites and figure out how we can replace that, because once we do I think the bathroom will be nice. I like the fixtures the previous owners chose (they replaced the toilet, sink and retiled the shower, I think) and we found a really nice piece at ikea that fits right in the space behind the door.

and finally, one more view, of Andy watching something on the poorly-sited TV. I'm standing back by the bathroom and the spare bedroom taking the photo.

hmm. that's a lousy photo. oh well. hopefully you get the idea. so, some general thoughts. first of all, the house is very, very white. every single wall is white. I wonder if the previous owners went through and painted it all that way to make it more of a blank slate for sale? In any case, we need color on the walls. I was advised we should paint before we moved in because it was easier that way, but I really didn't want to. We did that at our old house and I felt very rushed into picking out what colors I wanted, and with the exception of the kitchen and the boys' room I quickly regretted every single one, especially the master bedroom and the bathroom. I didn't want to have to commit to colors so quickly again. I'm a girl that needs time to think. I'm also a girl that needs the advice of more aesthetically inclined friends - design and decorations aren't my strong suit. So for now, white it is while we figure things out. Second of all, the layout is admittedly not ideal. The good thing about that is that there is a full, unfinished second floor (not pictured). So, if we get motivated, we could go ahead and finish it, putting a couple (or even three) bedrooms and a bathroom up there, and change around the layout of the first floor since we'd no longer need three bedrooms downstairs. We've had three or four contractors come through and give us as many different ideas on how to do that, so we need way more time to think about that, too. Ok, I have to finish my candy plate for the kids' school and my coworkers. more on the house later.

Update to Add....

The dishwasher does not work. I would like a rebate on the home inspection now.

Moving Right Along

So we moved into our new house, and although this new house has approximately 1 closet, 3 (total) electrical outlets and is crawling with mice, I couldn't be happier that we are no longer living in Copake. I will say that as moves go, this was a pretty brutal one, and it's not like we don't have practice. I realized this weekend that Andy and I have moved together 7 times since we've been together, and that's a heck of a lot of moving. In case your doubt my math: we moved in together to 2205 West Grace. Then we moved to 2 Avalon Drive in Marlborough. From there to 160 Stanton Ave in Newton, then a brief stint at 24 Lyons Court, then to 55 Cerdan Ave, then to 1501 County Rt 7A, and now, here, to Lakeville. And I'm not even counting the fact that just after we met I moved to a new apartment, and between us meeting and us moving in together, Andy moved from his apartment in Lincoln Park to a friend's condo downtown. However, as little fun as all those moves were (especially the one when I was 8 months pregnant) this one was probably the worst - both for me, because I had the one of the worst bouts of stomach flu I've ever experienced (the remnants of which are still plaguing me 3 days later) and for the people that actually did the moving and the watching of the children (if it were not for my tireless brother in law and our amazing friends Sharon and Erik, our heels would still cooling in Copake). The timing of the move was bad to start with - Thanksgiving the previous week so we were travelling, I just started a new job working a normal days schedule and have no ability to take time off for 6 months, and Andy was really busy at work the week before - and then when Elias got sent home from school on Thursday vomiting with scarcely a box packed (foreshadowing! foreshadowing!) we knew things had the potential to go off the rails. Which, of course, they did. Most of my perspective of the move is comes from with my cheek pressed to the floor of the bathroom tile, but I'll tell you that from there it didn't look like much fun. We were much less packed than we should have been, the truck wasn't big enough to get it all in one go (or even two), the kids were cranky and still had a touch of sick themselves, and so overall you can probably imagine, it was a bit of a situation. On the bright side, however, we're now settling into our new house in Lakeville, which despite being old, mousy and a bit hard to live in (storage and furniture placement are a bit of an issue at the moment) is very close to everywhere we need to go so the 50 minute commute I've been slogging through each way is now toast. We're now 2 miles from Andy's work and about 8 miles from mine, and the boys' school is 1.5 miles down the road. And, when Owen goes to pre-k next year, the town elementary and middle school is right across the street! Since we now live in a place where schools serve a VERY large geographic area, and you could be putting your kid on a bus for an hour to the "local" elementary school, I'm very happy about that. Also, we knew the house was a bit of a fixer-upper when we looked at it, and we think that it can be fixed-up (in a little while, not right away) in such a way so that it will be much more liveable (and hopefully much less mousy and with a few more electrical outlets) without too much disruption and money. I think those are probably on the list of "famous last words" but we're in the bright side paragraph right now, so I'm going to let it slide. We seem to be in a really great little neighborhood, and the house next door to us just got sold to a family with to babysitting age daughters which is another plus. I haven't taken any pictures of the house yet because it's still in complete disarray - I still feel badly and we had to go back to work on Monday after moving over the weekend, so we've scarcely had time to unpack anything but the most essential boxes. You know, the trucks, the bedtime stories and the fireman hats. The stuff we can't get through the week without. Hopefully next weekend we'll have some free time to put the house to rights and I'll post some photos of the new digs.