Big Adventures & Beautiful Weather

Owen's been having a great time since the weather improved! Some shots of his first visit to the Franklin Park Zoo as well as some we took in the Arboretum yesterday. I try and try to get good shots where he's looking happy/cute, but this kid is just so ON THE MOVE all the time that it's practically impossible. It's the best I can do to even catch him in the frame! I have some funny video of him running around the arboretum, throwing his hat on the ground over and over and yelling "Uh Oh!" (again, we're still working on the distinction between "uh oh" and deliberate mischief) But I'm apparently not smart enough to figure out how to make it post and play, so you'll have to settle for pictures until Andy gets around to posting them up.

what babies need.

I have a couple friends who are pregnant right now, who are freaking out because the economy is so bad, and a couple friends who are deliberately NOT pregnant right now when they otherwise would be, because the economy is so bad.

And to all I say, chill out. Yes, the economy is really bad. But, the truth is, you've been led to beleive that babies are really expensive and they need a lot of stuff. I, too, thought that. Before I had one. And then I realized that babies only need about 5 things.

1) enough clothes to make it through 3(ish) days (depending on how often you care to do laundry)
2) diapers (I'm not going to harrangue you about cloth again, but disposeables are bad for the environment and a waste of money, for the record)
3) Something to eat in that he/she can be buckled into (The tripp trapp is the gold standard, but if you can't afford that, go for the keekaroo right height chair)
4) an Ergo carrier
5) a car seat

I can't think of a single other thing not on this list that if I didn't have over the last year, I would have missed. Don't get me wrong - I have a lot of baby crap - but I hardly ever used ANY of it. All the things I thought I NEEDED - nope. Just taking up room in my house. Crib? Ha. As if the baby sleeps in a crib. That baby's been in bed with me since day one. Swing? Used it about twice. Stroller? The last time we used our Graco stroller was Thanksgiving Day, and I've probably used it a dozen times total since Owen was born (I'm not talking about the specialized bike trailer/jog stroller - we do use that, when I want to go for a run or we want to take a bike ride together, but it's certainly not nescessary. That is a definite babygear luxury). Boppy? Never used it. bouncy seat? jumperoo? used each a few times, maybe. baby tub? The baby can take a shower while you do, and will love it. Toys? Owen has to date shown absolutely no interest in any of the toys lavished on him by well meaning grandparents and friends - but he's facinated by tupperware, pots, cardboard boxes, suitcases, and every other mundane household object that you could think of.

The one thing that you cannot live without is an Ergo carrier (or a Beco, or a Calyx, or any other soft shaped carrier). They are expensive, it's true - about $120 new (although we got ours used for $50.) It's pretty much the only baby gear item (besides a carseat, which is legislated) that we use every day and couldn't exist without. Owen spends a great deal of his life in the Ergo, and loves every minute of it. And ever since he turned 6 months or so, I've realized that he does actually need a high chair. (we originally had the chicco polly and ended up giving it away because it was so obnoxious - go for less bells and whistles instead of more, every time)

will we have to buy things as he gets older? certainly. Does daycare cost a lot? yep, it does - but if you can survive on one income, then it won't. your mileage will vary on that one. But I can honestly say that if we didn't have one single baby item besides the five on that list, our lives would be not a smidge different than they are right now, and Owen is a pretty happy guy. And the economy will either get better or it won't, but either way a baby isn't going to put you on the road to financial armogeddeon. At least, not for the first year. By sixth grade, when there's soccer fees and summer camp and violin lessons and every other stupid thing, then maybe. And by college, definitely. But in the near term, for the next two years?

breastfeed. wear your baby. cloth diaper. your baby won't cost you much at all.

In Retrospect,

Cheering wildly and praising him for genius every time Owen messed up something/dropped something/broke something/knocked food off his tray and then appropriately said "Uh Oh!" might not have been the greatest idea Andy and I ever had.

my future's so bright

...I gotta wear shades.

askmoxie.com, how I love thee.

askmoxie.com is an amusing Q&A parenting blog that I read somewhat regularly, and today I came across possibly the greatest 2 paragraphs about parenting ever written.

You know, the more I think about this, the more I think your friends are giving you bad information. There is a ton of stuff that comes up in parenting that you have NO CONTROL over, so to imply that people who are "prepared" (and what does that mean, anyway?) are going to have an easier time with parenting is magical thinking. You can read every book, take every class, buy every product available, and be super-positive that motherhood is going to be the apex of self-actualization, and your kid might come out colicky or with reflux or with delays or trouble latching or high-intensity or any other thing that makes parenting super-challenging.
Honestly, it makes me a little angry that someone thinks everything's going so well for her because of something she did! That basically means that she thinks that people who have problems with their babies are having problems because they haven't done things the right way. That's insulting, misogynistic, and ridiculous.

yes, yes it is, Moxie. Thanks for reminding me.

The whole post is worth a read and can be found here:
http://www.askmoxie.org/2009/03/qa-having-a-baby-worries.html

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

Owen turned one yesterday. One year old. It is so hard for me to beleive this, but here we are with one foot out of babyhood and the other dabbling in toddler. It's sort of surreal and terrifying and wonderful all at once.

I thought I'd take this opportunity to do a year in review, of sorts. Some things I'm proud of, some things I'm not. A recap of year #1.

Taking the wise advice of accentuating the positive, some of the things I'm proud of:

1. we're still cloth diapering and going strong. After the 523rd person told me "that'll last two weeks" when I announced my intention to cloth diaper while pregnant, even I started to doubt whether it would work out. But I'm happy to report that we're not only still happy with our diaper choices, I love that I have never bought a package of huggies.

2. I nursed until 8 months. I am enormously proud of this because it ALMOST KILLED ME. I'll spare you the gory details, but man, did it pretty much suck. I'm glad that I stuck with it though, because I have drunk the breast is best koolaid, and I really wanted to make it until six months. I choose to beleive that Owen will a)care and b) appreciate how difficult it was for me. I am also certain neither is true, but whatever. I'm impressed.

3. Owen has made it to his first birthday without ever watching TV. I'm happy about this because I had a professor in graduate school who terrorized my clinical practice with children class with study after study insinuating tv causes brain damage in children under three. The studies were not peer reviewed and the professor was admittedly unbalanced, not to mention that common sense would disprove this easily, but it scared the bejebus out of me. So I said no tv, and I've managed to stick with it.

4. We made it through a LOT in the past 12 months. When we had the baby I was smack in the middle of a semester of graduate school as well as working full time, Andy was working like a maniac and we were trying to buy a house, ...and things haven't slowed down much since. But we're all still alive, functional (at least, andy and I show up for work every day and Owen hasn't set any neighborhood animals on fire) and I'm really happy about that. It hasn't been easy, but it's getting easier.

5. Owen is a really sweet boy. He tries to hug and kiss everyone that crosses his path and he is, (in my admittedly biased opinion) turning into a genuinely nice little boy.

And now for the things I'm not so proud of:

1. It's much easier to give my kid a cereal bar than actually make him a balanced breakfast, and so I do it pretty often. Like every day. And if I'm being honest, I do it quite often for lunch and dinner as well.
2. I didn't even try to teach him baby sign language.
3. I let him sleep in my bed if he wakes up in the night. In fact, he's slept in my bed about 290 of the last 350 days. I keep setting arbitrary dates when I'm going to stop doing this, but the truth is, I'm full of crap. I am a complete wuss when it comes to crying it out, and I'm not going to do it now or probably ever.
4. Once I took him to the doctor because he had a rash and it turned out he had a 104degree fever and an ear infection in both ears. Whoops.
5. Sometimes my version of "playing" with him involves surfing the internet while occasionally looking over and making interested sounds. And by sometimes I mean, well, a lot.
6. Once, he dumped his whole dinner on the floor, and I was so tired that I just took him out of the high chair, moved him to the floor, and let him finish eating it from there.
7. I am totally unconcerned about germs. If he finds a six week old bite of food under the couch and wants to eat it, that's fine with me. It's very unlikely it will make him sick and I theorize it's good for his immune system. This goes double for anything he finds outdoors.
8. More than once in the first three months I contemplated giving him back, mailing him to Abu Dabi, or trading him for xanax. I'm definitely glad I didn't do any of those things, but I'm not going to pretend it didn't cross my mind.

So it's been a mixed bag, this first year. A little good, a lot stressful, a little terrible, a lot wonderful.

Happy birthday Owen. Mama and Daddy love you so much. We can't wait to explore year 2 with you!

I've kind of got my hands full.

Sorry for the delay in posts. I think the evidence will show that despite my best intentions, my blog updating time is limited.