Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Changing Behavior with Diet

I've been sort of reluctant to post about this, because I feel like it's the type of thing that gets you a lot of eye rolling and not so well-concealed disdain from other parents. But, I am going to post about it not only because it's been a big focus of our time and energy around here lately, but also because it's really working for us. And so I'm willing to brave a little eye rolling because I think other people might want to know, especially if they were dealing with the kind of behavior issues we were.

I'll start at the beginning, and in the beginning there was Elias. Elias has so many positive qualities - he is funny, (VERY funny!) he is smart. He is empathetic and he is a love bug. But he has struggled with managing his temper and emotions and behavior since he was about 18 months. He had lots of meltdowns - lots, and lots of meltdowns. He had some serious sensory stuff going on. He didn't transition well. He became very easily dysregulated and couldn't calm down. He didn't sleep well. He was REALLY oppositional. Most of all, he always seemed so...grumpy. Angry. Frustrated. It seemed like it was really, really hard to be Elias.

So what? you say. He's three. That's what two and three year olds are like.

Well, yes. Except, As he got older and closer to three Andy and I started to worry that this was not just normal terrible twos and threes. We're not parenting experts, but this isn't our first rodeo, either. Owen had his moments and still does, but this was really different. I continued to tell myself that there's a range of normal and Elias was on it, until preschool started insinuating he had a behavior problem. And then not just insinuating, but suggesting we take him to be screened for a behavior IEP. At 3. This, clearly, is not what a parent wants to hear. His preschool made it clear that no one was concerned about Elias' cognitive ability, his ability to think and learn, etc. But they were worried about his social and emotional skills. And so were we. And so I did what any modern parent does. I googled.

(And we also initiated the suggested evaluation. But mostly, I googled. And worried. And googled some more.)

Anyway, I read all sorts of stuff about preschool behavior, what was normal, what wasn't. What worked for parents with kids like mine, what didn't. And one thing I kept coming across again and again was changing kids' diet. It's all anecdotal evidence, found on family blogs just like this one. I didn't find a ton of peer-reviewed double blind studies. But I found a whole bunch of people who put their challenging kids on special diets with really good effect, so I decided to try it. The diet itself is a bit of a hybrid of the Feingold diet (used for kids with ADHD) http://www.feingold.org/ and the specific carbohydrate diet (sometimes used for kids with autism) http://www.breakingtheviciouscycle.info/. The things that you remove from your kids diet are (in seeming order of importance) food dyes, synthetic additives - specifically synthetic flavors and the preservatives BHA, BHT, TBHQ), refined sugar, and gluten.

I know. That's where you start to lose people. That eliminates a lot of foods, and avoiding gluten is very "trendy". However, I actually have already been eating a gluten free diet, trendy or not, it makes me feel a lot better, so that's no big deal in this house. So we just had to eliminate the food dyes, synthetic flavors and preservatives and the refined sugar.

It has not been easy. But the results have been amazing, and so well worth it. Elias is a totally different kid. We weren't eating tons of packaged and processed foods before, but cutting out the refined sugar and the food dyes was HARD. Food dyes are in SO MANY THINGS. They are in pickles and toothpaste and nutrigrain bars for pete's sake (why does a nutrigrain bar need food dyes?)! Anything that said "artificial flavor" or had a food dye is out. Basically, it means that processed foods are almost completely out. So, lunches look a little like this:

(that's hummus, snap peas, raisins, a cheese stick, and some gluten free bagel chips)

Mostly fruits and vegetables, protiens (hummus, eggs, cheese, meats, nuts), some gluten free products that have no refined sugars (there are some, but most you have to make yourself). I've gotten very used to using raw honey, molasses, stevia agave and maple syrup as sweeteners. I've done a lot of experimenting with nut flours and other non-wheat flour blends. And the kids have gotten used to having a lunch that is mostly fruits and vegetables. I've tried to replicate what the kids see their peers have - so instead of having fruit flavored yogurt (which has food dyes and refined sugar) I'll make them plain yogurt with frozen blueberries and agave syrup mixed in. It's a lot more work than buying containers of yoplait, but it it has really been worth the effort.

His preschool teachers, who were completely skeptical at first - and who were kind of justifiably resistant to this whole plan, because they thought it would make their lives really difficult - are now completely on board. I understand why they didn't want to try it - when everyone else is having animal crackers for snack, they have to deal with Eli getting his separate snack. And he's three. He wants the animal crackers! it's even worse when they have a 'celebration' of something, which they seem to have once a week, complete with cupcake or cookie. I know that it makes their life more difficult when they're giving all the other kids one thing and my kid another thing, but when I picked him up at school today they couldn't stop telling me what a big change in his behavior there has been. It's true. We see it too, at home. He's calmer. He has so many fewer tantrums, and when he does have them, they're "normal" tantrums - not epic, relentless emotional meltdowns. I don't know if he just miraculously turned a behavior corner in the last 6 weeks and this would have happened anyways, but I can't discount the fact that the change happened at the same time we changed his diet. It really is amazing how much HAPPIER he seems, and that's really the most important thing for me. In fact, the screening they referred us to is still ongoing, but I'm not sure (and his teachers aren't either) that he would need services anymore, or if he will even qualify for them. The results of this experiment have been really, really positive.

The problem, of course, is that it's not all sunshine and roses when the kids' friends have all sorts of things that they want. Gogurt. Cheez its. Oreos. Goldfish. Everything. (oh. yes, both of them are on the diet, even though it was mainly for Elias. It seems terrible to do for one and not for the other). There hasn't been a real appreciable difference in Owen's behavior, which was pretty good to begin with. I don't really know how to deal with that, to be honest. It's a work in progress. (any suggestions are welcome).

I'm thinking of starting a second blog, linked to this blog, about the food they're eating. I know not everyone is interested in that (and I've probably alienated half of you anyway, by now), but like I said. If someone else finds it helpful, then I'm putting our experience out there.





2 comments:

Lauren Trahan said...

This is so interesting. My friend has Crohn's disease and has been considering the selective carb diet for herself. She mentioned people using it for kids with ADHD. I might have to look into it myself. Definitely want to read if you start another blog.

Jamie said...

Thanks for writing this. I was one of those eye rolling parents but I am considering trying this for my youngest. I have two others though and I just don't know how to do it for all of them.... I hope you keep writing about it